I was walking along the Oval, enjoying an evening stroll. Birds chattered in their nests. A cool soothing dusk settled around me. Far ahead, a golden ball was sinking fast into a turquoise sea. I was content. All at once, a fellow walker came walking quickly, straight towards me. I was on the left of the trail and she on her right. Isn’t there an an unwritten code of walking that asks us to keep to our left when on a pathway? It would ensure that two walkers walking toward each would not collide.

But this lady was intent on keeping to her extreme right. I was forced to move hastily to my right to prevent a collision. There was no trace of a smile from her either. She was intent in what she was doing (walking) and also listening to her headphones. Some time later, it happened a second time. Something inside me rebelled. I felt like continuing on my side – (left is right after all) and forcing her to change to her left. But at the last minute, I heard God’s voice. Quiet. Soft. Inescapable. ‘Why can’t you give in Anusha?’

I looked up. I sighed. Then grudgingly said “OK Lord. OK.”” I moved to my right. After I passed her by, I continued my argument with the Lord.

‘But Lord, I’m walking on the correct side – she’s not.’

‘Does it cost you that much?”

“Well, no Lord. But it’s the principle of the thing. I am right to walk on the left.”

“Can’t you do this for me Anusha?”

Silence. From this quarter. But after a few minutes ...

“I know Lord. I know. You win.”

I think I am mostly willing to submit to the will of others. The word is ‘mostly’. Not always. Mostly I give in – because I know that it’s better if one person submits. I like keeping the peace. Mostly. There are a few situations though when I don’t want to submit. As in the case of this right-side walker, until the Lord made sure I heard Him. And thus I discovered that when my rights are threatened, I like to insist upon them. Apparently there’s a feisty spirit inside of me.

Many years ago – there was a tough circumstance which was difficult to maneuver. I felt I was emotionally trampled on by a friend who seemed to strip my rights away from me. In tears I went to God. As always, I received His precious guidance and comfort. A few weeks later – God spoke to me again, this time, through a real life happening.

The incident occurred during the Tsunami of Dec. 2004. Four hundred Christians in the town of Meulaboh, 240 km from Banda Aceh had requested permission to celebrate Christmas where they lived. They’d been advised that because they were under Sharia Islamic law, it was better for them to do it elsewhere. These four hundred faithful disciples of Jesus walked 5 kilometres up a mountain top, to celebrate Christmas. They stayed overnight on that height. And so, when the dreadful Tsunami hit the next morning, the rest of their town was wiped out but they remained alive. A miracle. Wow!

That story made an indelible impression on me. Those Christians could have insisted on their right to celebrate Christmas in their homes. They didn’t. And their lives were spared. God showed me through their powerful witness, that while it’s good to have boundaries and rights which keep me safe – I should not always insist on them. A higher law prevails. Submitting to God by obeying the non Christian laws of that town kept those 400 Christians alive. Deciding to find an alternative solution to celebrate Christmas carried them to a place of safety. What an inspiring story!

What are my rights? As a woman? A wife? A Mum? A friend? A neighbour? A follower of Jesus? Do I have any rights at all? When do I cling to those rights and when do I give them up? I reflect on the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings. He gave up all His rights when He was born in a smelly manger. He was holy and blameless. Yet he chose to take the sins of the world on his shoulders and suffer a criminal’s death on a cross. What does that say to me today? I believe that there are times I will need to assert myself and insist on my rights, for example when someone tries to bully  me. But there are other situations when I will need to submit to another. Times when I am willing to lay down my rights for the sake of God and His kingdom.

Are you a tough place today? Have you been forced into a corner? I am so sorry if you are. I have no answer to your dilemma. But be assured that God sees and cares deeply for you. He will direct you into the decision that works out His best purposes in your life. You can count on it. So as you surrender yourself to Him, know with sure certainty that He will make your paths straight. Not only in this instance. But always. Yes, always.

“Therefore I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. This is your spiritual act of worship. 

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1, 2

I was busy. Busy hanging washed clothes on our clothing airer. I thought there’d be sufficient room for all the wet clothes, but it was over crowded, so I was forced to re-arrange them. It was bad planning on my part of course. I’d placed small items like socks and hankies in parts of the airer where there was lots of space. Larger items like pillow cases and pyjama bottoms couldn’t fit into the smaller gaps that remained. With a sigh, I moved the little items into the little spaces. Ah! Much better. Now there was room for the bigger items. It was amazing how a task that seemed difficult was made possible through a wee bit of re-arranging. I sighed again – but this time with happy relief, contentment seeping into my tired bones. I could get to bed at last. 

A few days on, I did more re-arranging – this time inside my computer. I’d discovered that my hard drives were choc-ful of stuff. Something had to be done before my computer said ‘Enough’ and went on strike. I went through my Outlook folders, deleting pictures and large emails. I went through my word documents, removing backup copies which were using unnecessary space. I checked what was left, hoping I’d increased the free space sufficiently. Surprisingly there was no change.

My astute husband suggested I empty the recycle bin on my desktop. Voila! My computer’s free space increased dramatically. I could breathe freely again. I shall need to de-fragment my computer after I finish going through my files. And just as I’d re-arranged my wet laundry on the clothing airer the other day, my computer will also re-organise its used space to free up a bounty of contiguous space for my use. Wonderful!

After living 16 years in the one house – my husband I have discovered how even our home has too much stuff and sometimes in disarray. I've been reflecting on something far more vital than clothing airers, computers or homes. What does my mind look like? How’s it arranged? What’s inside? Are there spaces? What kind of spaces? Is it displayed in a way that pleases God? Or is it crammed with garbage and hefty dark files which need sorting, sifting or throwing out? Are there parts of my mind that are filled to capacity by mean thoughts? Are there large negative boulders of ideas lodged in the tiny crevices of my mind? Am I filling my mind with grievances that need to be got rid of?

Joyce Meyer’s book ‘The Battlefield of the mind’ is an excellent reminder of where Satan’s battles begin. Yes, our minds are often the starting point. Have I filed away years of worry and discontent? Jealousies? Anger? Resentment? Is there unforgiveness taking up a larger than life space? Is judgement of others decorating my mind’s documents?

Here’s what God challenges me to get busy with today. To fill up the spaces of my mind with His kind of thoughts. Each new day, I have a choice about what I allow inside. Pure, wholesome thoughts or ugly, negative ones. As the saying goes, you cannot stop birds flying into one’s hair but you can stop them building nests on your head. I am not responsible for the thoughts that creep into my mind – but I am responsible for what I do with them; especially if I file them for permanent lodging.

So what kind of soul-food might nourish the spaces of my mind?

1. Thoughts of wonder, awe, curiosity about this amazing Universe we live in

2. Precious times with loved ones to reflect on, re-live and give thanks for

3. Marvelling at and thanking God for the GOOD NEWS of Jesus

4. Remembering His abundant faithfulness over the years with gratitude

5. Praise and Worship – a life attitude. As gifts of mind and heart

6. The Word of God – memorised and planted like seeds in fertile soil

7. Reflecting on ways I can bless my world and everyone in it

8. Prayer for others’ needs; constant, persistent, hopeful

9. Ideas on writing which will challenge, exhort, inspire, refresh

10. Meditating on what I can learn from the numerous people in my world

11. Thoughts of God - of His majesty and His glory

12. Discovering ways of pleasing God and bringing joy to His heart

It’s time to check those files in my mind; the archive I’ve collected in there. 

To de-junk those that need discarding. 

To replenish my mind with beauty, truth and goodness.

“Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

The moment my eyes fell on the advert, it felt right for me.  I was sure I’d be called for an interview. For that perfect job I applied for. And so I waited with bated breath. Was I chosen? No. The days passed. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. With each successive day, my hopes receded – like a larder of nourishing food being emptied, one day at a time, 'til nothing was left except a few crumbs of dry mouldy bread.

How could something that sounded so right not be THE one? Why did God seem to raise my hopes only to dash them down again? My fibromyalgia flared up – a reminder that it was a good thing I didn’t have the job. I probably wouldn't cope with all it demanded with a body that was erratic and didn’t do what I asked of it.

It was a week of discouragement all round. Through the years, God’s given me fulfilling connections with women; it's something I cherish. But much of what I’d hoped for in a number of friends' lives had yet to come to pass. There are those I've prayed for and shared life with – some for decades, some for years, others for much less. In the recent past, attempts at encouraging those who were struggling in their walk with God had sadly brought zero results.

Yes, it was a week of wondering why my ministry in God’s kingdom seemed fruitless. On Friday evening, a lady I’d often see around the Oval walked past me. We usually walk in opposite directions and would pass each another twice every lap. As I smiled and waved at her, I told God that I’d love to exchange names with her. I asked Him. “Please would you make her initiate the contact, Lord? That way I’d know that you are hearing my prayers. And especially that you haven’t forgotten me.’

Five minutes later, we passed each other again. She stopped. She spoke. ‘We haven’t introduced ourselves have we? My name is …” I looked at her, my eyes opened wide. “I’m Anusha” I said with a grin. (Thank you God) We chatted and discovered we had sons of the same age. She’d been in Australia (from India) twice as long as I've been here. It felt so good to connect because I’d often hoped I’d get to know her. Mostly, it was deeply comforting that God had answered my prayer. A reminder that He had not forgotten me. Yes, job and ministry might not be all I hoped for. But He was still with me. Still hearing my prayers. Still working His best purposes out in my life.

I recall today how 35 years ago, God said ‘no’ to one of my fervent  prayers. I didn’t know why He closed that door and I didn’t seek any answers. But one day 33 years on, right out of the blue – He gave me a glimpse of what my life might have been had He given me my then-heart’s-desires. I look back now, deeply thankful; a bee delighting in the honey of an exquisite flower, the sweet sustenance of His care. I’d shed many sad tears then.  Now I realise that ‘No’ was the best answer for me. The fact is, God frequently shows us He remembers us through His ‘nos’ rather than through his ‘yeses’; like the mum who keeps a sharp knife away from her two year old or the dad who disciplines his erring teenager, to help him mature.

Do you wonder if God has heard you? Be assured that God is on your case as He is on mine. Sometimes all that seems visible are ‘No’ answers or ‘Not yets’ and even Satan’s whispers of ‘God doesn’t care.’ But our Father’s silences are simply minuscule pregnant pauses which will give birth to the answer you’ve waited for at the perfect time. Be assured, He is there beside you, working out His ways in your life as you yield to Him. You only have to hope in Him. And keep going. One foot in front of the other. One hand in His. Your heart raised in restful trust towards our Daddy God.

And one gladsome day, you’ll find that during that season when you’d assumed He’d forgotten you – He’d actually been actively working on your case in ways that are so big, they would blow your mind. So wait on. And trust on my friend. Our Father knows what He’s about. You’re as safe as a newborn babe in his mother’s arms, when in God's tender loving care.

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD who has compassion on you.” Isaiah 54:10

“Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land.” 

Psalm 37:34

A few days ago I changed my desktop picture. I chose one of a cute small waddler I met in the picturesque seaside town of Lorne last Christmas. Its brown eyes were set within zebra stripes. Its plump body was covered in soft amber colours hiding a turquoise patch. Its chocolate brown feathers were perfectly outlined in white, as if an artist had decorated them with care, using a fine paint-brush. I gazed at the picture, marvelling at my Creator’s handiwork. I loved the vivid details I glimpsed in an ordinary little duck.

God must have had an abundance of fun creating His world, don’t you think? With its majestic waterfalls and soft sandy beaches; its multi legged octopuses and pyjama-striped zebras, its rugged mountains peaks and soft cotton clouds. Wouldn't you like to create something out of nothing? I would. When I studied Zoology years ago, I was mesmerised by the way our bodies have been put together. A random collection of organs? Impossible! Our bodies are intricate works of art, fashioned exquisitely by a Master Designer. And isn’t the human brain phenomenal? Despite man’s best efforts, no computer created to date can match it.

A few weeks ago, I spent an uplifting weekend away at camp with a group of beautiful women from my church. A wise, articulate Christian speaker ministered to us. On our last day together, she reminded us that God asked us to love others as much as we love ourselves. She pointed out that in order to love others, we first need to love ourselves.

Let me warn you that my next paragraph is rated PG. Yes, parental guidance is recommended. Just kidding! The speaker placed a challenge before us. She asked us to stand naked in front of a mirror and to say to ourselves three little words: ‘I love you’. Naturally, we all laughed at that. She added that it would be a confronting exercise, but a powerful way to affirm ourselves. One morning the following week, I decided to take her up on that challenge. I’m delighted to say that I passed the test with flying colours.

When I reflected on the experiment later, it struck me why I could say ‘I love you’ to myself without flinching. I was gazing at a funny flabby aging lady in that mirror. Not what I’d call a pretty sight! And yet – I was only too glad to smile at myself in acceptance. How come? It’s simple. I believe I do have God’s acceptance. If He created me – I must be very special mustn’t I? If He could lavish His love on me – surely, that says a lot? If He loved me enough to die for me, well then – there’s nothing I can do but respond to Him. With gratitude. With awe. With amazement. I can even love myself. I believe that all God created is good and as scripture instructs us, should be accepted with thanksgiving.

Of course it doesn’t mean I should ignore aspects of me that need correction. Yes, I do love myself. But I still have a lot of work to do to improve this frail creature. I should lose at least 5 kilos (sigh)! My health needs sorting out. With God’s help, I wish to refine my inner nature into the likeness of Jesus. I must press on to be all that God has created me to be. But even as I do that, it’s important that I accept myself, just the way I am.

Has anyone told you that you are amazing? Yes, I mean you. You – who are reading this blog. You are unique. Special. Loved by Him. No one else in eternity has your fingerprints. Or your laugh, your manner of speaking, your passions, your giftings, your personality, your memories. Did you know that you have been crafted in the image of God? You have. And though there are billions of people alive on this planet, there is only one you!

So have a good look at yourself today.  Not with your eyes but with God’s tender gaze. He sees you not only as you are today but also as the person you could become. And don’t forget - you are one of a kind. God never makes mistakes. Be glad he formed you just the way you are. Only you can fulfill what He's called you to do. So step ahead boldly.  Ask His Holy Spirit to continue His makeover on you, as you yield to Him in acceptance, trust and thanksgiving. “God saw all that he had made. It was very good.” Genesis 1:31

 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

   I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

  your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14, 17

A week ago, as I studied Proverbs chapter 3 for my Quiet time, God seemed to bop me over the heart with verses 5 and 6. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” A few hours later I came across the verse a second time. That night as I read in bed, I glanced idly at my bookmark. Can you guess what it said? Yes, believe it or not, it was the same verse. “Trust in the Lord … “

I pricked up my heart’s ears. What was God asking me to trust Him about? Five days later I went off for our church ladies camp and what a fabulous time it was. The weather was sparkling, the fellowship blessed. Best of all, my fibro symptoms kept away. Hooray! It was a beautiful experience - filled with fellowship, learning, God moments, worship, relaxing, good food, sunshine, laughter and love.

During the camp, I carried my Bible, notebook and pen in a zipped-up plastic folder. To ensure my pen wouldn’t fall out; I kept it on the left side of the Bible with the zipper on the right. One day I found my pen was dangling through a tiny gap in the folder. It had almost dropped out. Oh! The safe side wasn’t so safe after all. I moved it at once to the unsafe side.

And there it stayed without a-wandering. The section I’d dubbed unsafe was the secure side. That episode with my pen reminded me that I often choose commodities which I think will keep me safe but I am wrong. People, places, possessions, achievements, work, riches, good health, a good reputation are some of them. But you know what? All of that can be taken away in an instant.

And so perhaps I could draw a few parallels.

The unsafe place = The world's securities

The safest place = God's will

When I returned home after the camp, I discovered to my distress that my website had been suspended due to it having abusive content. What? What was going on? I stared dazedly at the screen. My thoughts jumped to the previous week when a new aquaintance had sent me several nasty messages. Was it her? She'd sounded angry enough to hurt me. Then I remembered God’s assurance given a week before. “Trust in the Lord…”. “Yes Lord,” I whispered. I will trust you.”  

I was overwhelmed by the love of family and friends who rallied around me. I was carried on the wings of prayer all day Monday – my blogging day. A special thank you to everyone who prayed for me and supported me! It's true that we should never make people our security blankets. But God does provide their love as a beautiful part of how He cares for us. I’ve experienced that many times in my darkest hours. Praise God for those who have reached out in love. And THANK YOU SO MUCH to all who have blessed me.

I often don't do well when tough times strike. I habitually go into meltdown mode. Not this time. Three precious blessings carried me. God’s three-fold promise to me that I could trust Him, the loving support of others, and the prayers of many wonderful people. I was filled with joy all day and it was so easy to trust Him. So easy to rejoice. Thirty hours after I’d discovered my huge loss – God restored my website to me. The host provider attended to it and had it working again. And it turned out it was not due to abusive content as they'd indicated but simply a technical error. What a relief and joy. I am filled with gratitude.

Life sometimes treats one as a punching bag. It's easy to feel insecure. The truth is that being safe has nothing to do with the absence of storms. Hurricanes will rage. Bad things will happen. People will let us down. Life's alarm bells will ring. But don’t forget - the shadow of the Almighty is the perfect place to rest in. And as you run to Him, He will cover you with His feathers. He assures you He will work things out for your good because you love Him. And you can count on it - God's promises never fail. 

The safest place to be? The shelter of God's wings.

“Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honour Him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” Psalm 91:15, 16

A few months ago, a pastor with a gift of healing came to minister in our church. Watching God heal many sicknesses through him was a thrilling experience. There was a lady who had pain in her neck and, she was able to move it freely afterwards. Praise God. A few weeks later I bumped into her. I told her I’d been excited watching God heal her. ‘Yes, my neck is fine now’ she agreed. Then added with a sigh ‘The other pains are all there. So it doesn’t help much.’ She frowned. She has chronic pain in many parts of her body. Pain is not easy to live with and can be disabling. I did feel for her.

I wished God healed her totally. But as I looked at her dejected countenance that day, I reflected on the fact that it’s very easy for us to focus on what we don’t have rather than what we do. Psychologists tell us that we need 5 positive thoughts to counter every negative thought. Test yourself and you might find it’s true. If most aspects of your life are going beautifully but just one thing upsets you – check where you focus lies. On the 139 positives or on the 1 negative? I think you might be surprised?

As I thought about it, it occurred to me that my response to God’s goodness was sometimes similar to this lady’s attitude. God had healed me too that night of the pain I’d endured in my ankles for 5 months. I’m now blessed with two working feet. But when I suffer with a flare-up of fibromyalgia, I’d often forget His wonderful gift of healing and focus instead on my fibro pain and exhaustion. Yes. It’s easy to focus on my losses. A few weeks ago, I applied for what I thought was my perfect job - mentoring girls in a Christian High School. I felt excited as I sent in my application. But as the weeks passed by, I realised I hadn't been called for an interview. I was deeply disappointed. And I focused on what I didn't have.

But what about what I do have! Over the past 2 years, God seemed to be taking away many things that were dear to me and I have shed many tears in His loving Presence. Grieving our losses is important so I won’t apologise for it. In fact, I believe grieving is needed in order to heal as I should and to emerge without bitterness. But, in the midst of my anguish and pain, counting my blessings was a life-giving  occupation.

And that’s something I CAN do – no matter what the loss and no matter what the season. Most of us have a roof over our heads, clothes to wear, food to eat, family and friends, work to do, beauty around us, hope, life, love. And more. So much more. A good practice then when I start despairing over my losses is adding up all I do have. Ann Voskamp’s poignant book ‘One Thousand Reasons’ blessed me this year and I decided to find 1000 reasons to thank God for. It sounds a huge number doesn’t it? But you know, God’s mercies are new every morning. And His blessings overflow in our lives – often unnoticed. Since my beloved Mum died earlier this year, I've been using a praise-filled hand-made journal gifted  by my sister to jot down those blessings. I've not reached 1000 yet but I'm on my way.

And you know what? When musing on that job I didn't get, God showed me that not having a job actually provides me with unique blessings. Plenty of precious moments to spend with Him, extra opportunities of ministering to my son, time to smell the roses, more space and ability to spend writing. They are all gifts from my Father's loving Hand.

Do you wish you could turn the clock back and transform the past? Unfortunately life does happen to all of us. Often in ways that hurt us. Change occurs. Frequently in ways we didn’t envisage. A question I need to ask myself after each season of loss and change would be: “What’s left in my hand?”

The truth is that if I didn’t have pain – my pain-free moments would not feel as sweet. If I hadn’t known rejection, I wouldn’t understand the thrill of acceptance. If I didn’t feel the pangs of sadness, joy would not have me jumping up and down. If I never suffered – those 'normal' moments in life might easily be taken for granted. What’s in my hand today? A bower of blessings and treasures. Riches from my beloved Father’s bounty.

So as we grieve for our losses let’s not stop there. Let’s turn our groaning into praise; our sadness into dancing. Every morning, I can decide if I should put in my gown of mourning. Or  wear instead my stunning robe of Joy, the one Jesus came to place on my shoulders. Have you counted your blessings lately? 

What’s in your hand today?

“Be joyful always; pray continually;

give thanks in all circumstances,

for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Some weeks ago I found a picture I wanted to share with my husband. It had obviously been edited and I knew he would find it funny. I clicked it to forward to Shan but then decided not to. Far better to wait till he got home so I could show it to him in person. Sending it via email is instantaneous and easy to do. But I wouldn’t be present when he enjoyed it. And half the fun would be gone.

The world today is more connected than it has ever been. Phones seem to be an extension of our personalities. We use skype, viber, whatsApp and text messages. We have iPads, personal computers, desktop computers, emails. Our phones and devices use face book, twitter, instagram, goodreads, linked in ... to mention just a few. I confess I am something of a facebook addict and check in whenever I can. Perhaps people are less lonely these days, because contact with others comes quickly, at the click of a button – any time – anywhere – perhaps even in the middle of the Great Sandy Desert!

But, there’s a down side too. As a writer I've often been submerged. There are many connections to keep up with; platforms to create; blogs to read and blogs to write. I can easily spend all day in its maze and not do any ‘real’ writing at all. My inbox is always full. I enjoy writing letters – but even for an email junkie like me there are limits. There are too many connections and things to do which can result in my being far from productive.

I attended a party a few years ago where a friend hailed me across the room. I went and sat by her, ready to catchup. But she ignored me. She didn’t even say ‘excuse me’. I was taken aback! She carried on a text conversation as if I wasn’t there. After awhile, I got up and left to talk to someone else. I don’t think it occurred to her that her behavior was very rude. The problem is that there is often too much on offer. And we are all distracted. I've seen pictures on Facebook of families having a meal together – where everyone is occupied communicating with others who are elsewhere. Is that a family meal? Is anyone present at that table?

In this wonderful technology filled world, I feel I’m constantly bombarded. In my struggle with time, it’s easy to shift my moments with God to the backburner. It’s tempting to give into others who clamour for my attention. But of course I then lose out, big time. Nothing can ever replace my time with God. It is the fuel for my journey.

Here are some questions I might regularly ask myself.

1. Am a good steward of the time that God has entrusted me with?

2. Does my phone own me or do I own my phone?

3. Would I switch off sometimes so I can spend uninterrupted times with God?

4. When did I last fast from social media?

5. Do I need to respond to emails and texts the moment they come in?

6. How often do I enjoy silence and solitude?

7. Is my day filled with noise?

8. Do I know how to spend time meaningfully without computer, TV or phone?

9. If God sees how I use my time – what would He say?

10. Am I living an abundant life?

I confess I am often guilty of not using my time wisely. Of spending too much time on social media. Being present is a gift I can give someone today. How often do I give the gift to my spouse and my children? How often do I give the gift to God? How present am I in the world today? I ask myself the questions and often find myself wanting.

Immanuel (God with us) spells out to me how I should live.

The best gift I can give my world is simple but costly. My presence.

Am I willing to give it? 

Am I willing to pay the price it requires?

I remember the day well. I went to the city to have a few medical tests done. I got down from my bus a good 45 minutes before I was due, so I had plenty of time to treat myself to a cuppa. I went into MacDonald’s. A long queue greeted me. Oh! Was I willing to wait? No. I knew I must look elsewhere.

I wandered around for a few minutes and soon found a small Turkish food outlet that also sold tea and coffee. Before long, I received my steaming cuppa in a beautiful china mug - not a throwaway plastic cup. It cost me only $2.90 compared to the MacDonald’s price of $3.15. The seating area unlike the MacDonald’s café was empty. Perfect. I sat at a table; soft music playing around me. I enjoyed that cuppa I can tell you. In fact, I enjoyed the whole experience – much nicer than if I’d sat in a crowded café.

I went on my way afterwards with a bright smile on my face. I’d been reminded that not having my way can often be a good thing. Having my plans changed can actually bring something better. It’s tempting to think that life should always go how I plan for it. But the truth is that it rarely does. As I look back on my life, I see time after time after time when I made my own plans but what God brought my way was vastly different.

When I was doing my final year exams in school, I hoped I could enter University and study for a Science degree. But I didn’t pass my exams. I sat for my A levels again. Thankfully this time I did get through. But I still didn’t get a place at University. I was very disappointed. But, you know what? Life didn’t end there. I had many years of interesting study combined with youth ministry. Those years shaped me and formed my Christian walk, giving me a sound base for ministry all through my life.

I found work as a Computer Programmer and thrived in it. Work was so much fun. I made new friends – made good money – even fell in love with someone who spoke computer jargon. As I look back, I am delighted life didn’t go the way I planned. The way God led me was so much better and brought rich experiences.

When my son entered high school, after a 12 year break of working outside my home, I decided it was time to make a life for myself. And to contribute to the family budget. For 6 long years, my attempts at finding a job were futile. It was pretty discouraging at the time. But then…. something amazing occured. God swung back the curtains to reveal the next stage of my life. And I stepped into the exciting world of becoming a writer. The fulfillment of a childhood dream. How I've thrived on it. I haven’t made my millions (yet!) but I know I’m doing what He’s created me to do. And that makes all the difference.

This past year I've been job hunting again – not an easy process. I do know however that God is faithful. And that there is much more than a job at stake. The journey towards finding one is part of what’s important - He prunes me and makes me over. I am excited as things fall into place in my life one by one. I look back and contemplate on His gracious Hand on my life. I look ahead with glad anticipation knowing that His kingdom and His righteousness are what it’s all about. How can I not be excited?

Sometimes life doesn’t go our way. Agreed? A good thing? Definitely. God’s ways are much better than ours. Remember Joseph’s story? Remember what he told his brothers? “You intended to harm me but God intended it for good to accomplish what is being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20 The truth is that life in the kingdom is exciting. Satan might throw arrows of pain and difficulty our way. But he doesn’t have the winning hand. We have God’s armour to fight him with.

We have God’s Promises.

We have God’s Protection.

Best of all, we have His Presence.

Are you discouraged today? Wondering why things happened as they did? Cling onto Him who is sovereign. The Maker of the Universe. Follow His lead. Listen to His Spirit. God will use anything and everything to work out His perfect will. The faults of others. Their unkind actions. Your own confusion. Even your own mistakes. Yes, all of it. He will come through for you as you surrender yourself to Him.

""For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways, my ways." 

declares the LORD. 

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." Isaiah 55:9a, 12

Last week, we spent several happy days with my much loved daughter niece. We welcomed her with open arms to Adelaide. We even had on offer the weather she was used to – wintry rain, cold breezes and invigorating temperatures, much like the climate in Canberra. I’m kidding. Ashi prefers the warmer climes, so I asked God to for some sunshine before she left. He blessed us with perfect weather for Ashi's 24 hour birthday bash, splashed with gold sunshine and nature's lush bounty. What an awesome gift. Thank you God.

Last Tuesday, Ashi and I took the O bahn to the city and spent a happy hour at the Koorong bookshop. Later, we walked to the bus station where she hopped on a coach to Whyalla – to relish some time with her aunt and uncle. I saw Ashi into her coach; waved at her after she was seated, then returned inside the bus station. Outdoors, it was raining. I’d have to wait till it cleared up before venturing outside. It was then that I noticed.

My precious little stylus was missing – the one I use to type text messages. My fingers often tap the wrong keys, so my stylus was an invaluable tool. I hunted for it in the numerous compartments of my capacious handbag, but no – the stylus had vanished without a trace. Oh dear! I walked the length of the bus station to check if I’d dropped it. I didn’t find it. I went back to where my niece had boarded the bus and waved at her again. It was good to have another glimpse of her, but no; no sign of that stylus. Oh well. It could have been worse I thought to myself. I could have lost my wallet or my phone. I counted my blessings.

Nevertheless I couldn’t stop looking for it. I whispered a prayer. I put my bag down and pulled out all of its contents. A few minutes of hopeful hunting elapsed and then ...eureka. I found it. It was hiding in the compartment that held my glasses, prayer diary and pen. Hooray!

As I walked out, God gently reminded me of a truth. That I often look outside myself for answers that are found within. Know what I mean? I’d been on a very interesting ‘journey’ during the last 6 weeks – one initiated by God Himself. He led me to new crossroads. I stood there perplexed. On my left was a brand new path to explore. It held new opportunities; it offered many good reasons to veer off my track. To my right was the street that led back to a familiar place. As I mulled on the pros and cons of the two choices - my mind suggested that I follow the brand new route to the left. But ……I had no peace. I looked to God for help and His Spirit nudged my heart. The answer was suddenly obvious. My heart led me to back to the place that was right for me. I was filled with joy.

There was another tough season which was almost too difficult – a terrifying perplexing ride in the dark night through a murky forest. I had to dig deep into my inward being in order to keep going. I thought I wouldn’t make it. But I did. It’s not till I am forced to it that I discover the joyful truth that I do have more inside me than I give myself credit for. And I mustn’t forget - I belong to the One who will provide me with all that I'll ever need.

In times past, when trouble knocked on my door, I’d first run to a friend for help. Not any more. God’s shown me over the years that He, not my family or friends should to be my first port of call. After all, He knows everything about everything. God does often bless me through those close to me. But I’m glad I've finally got it. I don’t have to look far to receive help in time of need. He is always there for me. And He is near.

Are you facing tough times? Are you (like me) prone to panic when life's storms erupt? Do you rush to get help from friends  before looking to the Captain of Life's Ship? As a disciple of Jesus, you have untold riches inside of you. So do look in and dig deep. And don’t forget. His Holy Spirit is leading you on, with wisdom, strength and power. His Word is a living map that instructs, equips and enables.

You can do it. 

You will make it.

"Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.” St. Therese of Lisieux

Wishing you the thrill of God discovery and of self discovery.

May the pathways of life always bring you to higher ground.

May growth, love and joy be your close companions.

And may His Presence be your Guide, until the end of time.

A few years ago, my husband and I bought a new quilt. We found that it was too hot to use when its cover was on. Mind you – the duvet was a light, all seasons duvet. Not bulky by any standards. But uncomfortably warm for us. And so we removed its cover. That worked very well. It served us for many years – soft, soothing and comfortable – blessing us with delicious warmth in winter. I even liked using it during our hot summers as long as I put our air conditioner on before we went to sleep.

A few weeks ago, we decided that our previously white duvet wasn’t white any longer. In fact, it looked positively grubby! It was time to dump it. I was a little sad to part with it because it still felt so comfortable. My brilliant husband, always good at research scoured the Internet and found its perfect successor. Oooo! Our new quilt looked great. White and clean and beautiful – and ahem… very different from our grubby one.

That night, we both looked forward to sleeping under our new duvet. I hurried back after my nightly shower and jumped into bed with great anticipation. I settled in under our new beauty and began to read. Shan joined me, a happy smile on his face. But oh dear. I soon felt hot. I pushed it aside. After 5 minutes, I placed it back. But again, a few minutes later, it felt far too warm. Shan turned off our electric oil heater and that was better.

But ….. I so wished I had my old duvet on instead. Yes, the new one was comfortable – but it wasn’t as soft as our old one. It would take months of usage before it reached its optimum level of comfort. I yearned to yank off the new one and bring back the old, so I had to fight the urge to do that before I went to sleep. But I knew I had to persevere using the new one in order for it to get softer. And at least it did look beautiful and clean.

The next morning as I made my bed – I was reminded that life was like my experience of the previous night. I usually want life to continue the way it’s always been. But change is the one sure thing in life. We lose people we love. Pets die. Children grow up. Our waistlines widen. Our purses empty. Illness creeps up on us. Sad times overwhelm us.

Over the last 2 years I have been wandering around a season of uncertainty and change. My spirit has sometimes rebelled against it. Like many of us, I prefer life to be predictable. With little or no change. Having my loved ones close to me always. When my beloved Mum died earlier this year, I discovered that life had inexplicably changed forever. It was grief but far more than grief. Talking to friends who have also lost aging parents – I've found that mine was not a unique experience. We'd like our parents to live forever.

Over the past few days Adelaide has been reeling in shock and pain. Phil Walsh, coach of the Adelaide Crows was murdered early on Friday morning, his wife taken to hospital with injuries and their son being charged with murder. What a dreadful tragedy. I’m not a footy fan – but it has shaken me deeply. I grieve with all the football community and with all who mourn this terrible loss.

Death comes roaring in when least expected. It wraps iron chains of grief around those who mourn. A cruel thief who steals the very best people from us. How and where do we find comfort in such a time as this? The film ‘Inside Out’ reminded me of a soothing truth. That anguish and sorrow can bring people together. Grief is often an intruder. But it has the power to bring us close as we reach out to each other in solidarity. As we shed tears. As we listen. As we love.

In the night of deep grief, there shines a flickering candle. Hope. Two thousand years ago Jesus, Lord of the Universe, suffered a cruel death; taunted by the same men He had created and loved. So we can take heart. God understands tragedy. He knows what it feels like to lose a loved one. He feels with us in our pain. Jesus was called ‘A man of sorrow, acquainted with grief.” But it didn't end there. Jesus rose again. Through His death and resurrection, Life walked into the world, never to be defeated again.

So as we grieve – let us hold hands with one another. Let us pray for the family and friends of Phil Walsh. Let us reach out to the God who knows and loves us. In Him is life and His life is the light of men. Would you like to know the God of all comfort? He is near, waiting till you cry out to Him. He is a very present help in trouble. And His love is the one sure light that has overcome the darkness.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 

In this world you will have trouble. 

But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 14:1. 16:33