It had been a warm summer’s day. Donning a pair of shorts and a T shirt and my comfortable pair of sneakers, I left home to enjoy my evening walk. Dusk deepened into night. Two little stars twinkled and waved, inviting me to walk under the vast canopy that was the night sky. Soft winds rustled in the trees; branches danced, keeping time to its music. Praise songs rang in my ears and my spirit communed with my Creator.

Twilight became night. More stars came out to play. I flicked on my little torch. Where was the moon, I wondered. Another walker passed by. She looked up and said “No moon tonight. It’s dark.” I smiled and nodded. She was right. Still no sign of the moon. Only stars. Lots of them. I gazed up at the velvet sky.

Like silver dust strewn on a black cape, stars glittered and winked and smiled above me. Breathtaking! Beautiful. I was mesmerised. I've always enjoyed the night sky. As I completed my five laps around the Oval, feelings of deep contentment seeped into me – like a Lover’s joyful embrace. God’s night-sky echoed what the songs in my ears proclaimed. How glorious our God. And how enchanting His creation. I returned home energised in body and refreshed in spirit.

Later, as I hung wet clothes out in the garden I called out to my husband.

‘The sky’s really beautiful tonight, Shan. You should see it.’

My beloved came out to where I stood. He looked up at the vast array of stars.

“Yes” he said.

“Is that Betelgeuse”

‘No – that’s Sirius.’

‘Then what’s that star? I thought that was Sirius’

‘Oh! That must be a planet’ he said. ‘It could be Mercury’

“Mercury? Isn’t it too big to be Mercury. Could it be Jupiter?”

I sat down on our garden steps while my husband disappeared indoors to get his binoculars. I loved it – gazing at this wealth of beauty in our world. Even on a dark night. No, there was no moon that night. But the darkness helped us see the stars.

Is there no moon in your night tonight? Is there no light to guide you? There are times when our pathways go through the darkest of valleys and there is no light to guide us. Be assured that God often allows those seasons so we can enjoy the beauty of the night, so we can distinguish the world in fresh ways. Or behold grandeur we otherwise would have missed. No moon in the skies tonight.

Ah! But there are millions of stars shining. Glowing. Shimmering.

We saw the Milky Way very clearly that night. Orion. Taurus. The Seven Sisters. A host of other constellations we couldn’t name. We often don’t take time to revel in God’s beauty when life’s going well. So when a dark season creeps upon us, we can be thankful. No need to look for the moon. We can instead find joy in the beauty of the stars.

Thank you Father God for many times you've allowed the moon to stay hidden; when instead the brilliance of the night sky captured my heart. I've revelled in your love during dark cold nights when the only illumination was the light of your Countenance. And what a bright Light You are! 

The One True Light in all the universe!

No moon tonight? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter a whit.

“I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year, 

                     “Give me a light, that I may tread safely into the unknown,” 

and he replied, 

                     “Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. 

                      That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.” 

                      M. Louise Haskins

Dedication

This blog is dedicated to my beloved Mum. Mama was disappointed she couldn’t attend the watchnight service on the 31^st Dec 2014. But you know... it didn’t matter. She woke up in eternity in 2015. The last email sent from her computer on 31^st Dec 2014 at 7.35 p.m. was sent after my reading my blog. It comforts me that her last communication was to me. It comforts me that what she’d read last was my blog.

In Mum’s  journal I found these beautiful words above by M. Louise Haskins copied in her own familiar handwriting. Those words came true for her. She didn’t need a light as she walked into 2015.  With her hand in God's strong sure comforting Hand, she walked safely into the unknown. Her new beginning would have been far more glorious than she could have ever imagined.

You did go out into the darkness this New Year Mama darling. But it was alright. 

It was your birthday of LIFE in Eternity. What an magnificent way to begin a New Year!

Thanking God today for His faithfulness and rejoicing with you in your New Beginning.

I was hoping Mum’s bathtub had cured me of my fibromyalgia. Really, I did. Well – not the bathtub but God’s healing touch through it. I’d spent 7 days in Sri Lanka fare-welling Mum. Amidst the blessedness of being with loved ones and celebrating Mum’s life together, there came the tiredness that went with extra busyness and grief. I’d caught a nasty bug before leaving for the funeral. So I was up coughing most nights in Sri Lanka –not the best recipe for tiredness. My fibro exhaustion visited me often.

That last day in Sri Lanka, my sis Ranmali and I trotted off to the shops to buy a few last minute essentials. After a couple of hours, the familiar fibro tiredness and weakness suddenly crept up on me – I knew I had to get back home before I crashed. A delicious lunch at no. 10 chatting with my siblings revived me. That evening though, I wondered how I’d cope with the 36 hour trip back home. I was exhausted.

A few hours later, after my packing was done, I boiled a kettle of water and added it to a filled bathtub – the same bathtub I’d splashed around in as a little child in my parent’s home. I added the few grains of Epsom salt I’d managed to purchase that day. The water was tepid with only one kettle-ful of boiling water in the mix – so I found it cold. Brrrr. I was determined to derive maximum benefit from it though – so made myself lie there for 30 minutes. But guess what! When I was showered and dressed again – I felt good.

Better. Much better. In fact, after a cup of tea, much of my usual oomph had replaced my tiredness. Yay! And you know, in terms of weariness, that journey home was definitely the best trip back ever. I was amazed. And very grateful. Was it the bathtub that did it? Or Mum’s parting bequest to me – making me fibro-free? God lavished many gifts on me that flight back – 3 empty seats next to me on the first flight so I could stretch out and sleep – what luxury. A room at the airport hotel so I could be revived.

Strength for the journey. Privacy to shed tears and grieve Mum’s loss. It was precious. I believed it was a series of special  gifts from God in answer to the prayers of many. I was deeply blessed. The next few weeks back home in Adelaide were good ones physically. I did have one attack of my fibro exhaustion – but it was short-lived. As for my usual fibro pains? No! They were gone! What joy.

Three weeks after I returned, as I went off to have my evening walk after a busy two days, I realised that my body wasn’t happy. Doing one lap around the Oval was difficult. Doing the second lap was like climbing a mountain. I’d been cruising through five laps on previous days, but after just two laps that evening; I knew I had to go home. The next morning, as I switched my alarm off at 7 a.m. my body screeched, loud and hard; a foghorn screaming in my ears. The old familiar pain was back. Unwelcome. Like a hungry baby waiting to be fed, it could not be dismissed.

And there I was, thinking Mum’s bathtub had cured me. I wish. Never mind. It was lovely while it lasted. I praise God for those three marvellous weeks when pain was a dim distant memory. The old familiar feeling was back. Do you know what I am talking about? Those old familiar feelings of whatever? We all have them, don’t we? In different ways. In differing circumstances. At different times.

What do those old familiar feelings conjure up for you?

Hopelessness?

Feeling unloved?

Feeling unworthy?

Anger and resentment?

Tiredness and exhaustion?

Wishing life was different?

Feeling depressed and unhappy?

Shame and guilt and condemnation?

The frustration of a life that’s way too busy?

The realisation that you’ve not forgiven someone after all?

We all have ‘old familiar feelings’ visit us from time to time. If those feelings are negative ones, what do we do with them? As with anything and everything, my first choice would be to take those feelings to Jesus. He created me. He knows me from the inside out. He can change me from the inside out so that the old familiar feelings will be replaced with hope. With courage. Love. Wisdom. Healing. A way out. The refreshment of the Saviour.

Would you come to Him?

He waits for us with outstretched arms. And He is Able.

“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:14-16

Grrrrrr! Oops….. my apologies. That’s no way to begin a blog, is it? But …the thing is…. I made a mistake. A big one. I walked into our village chemist yesterday and handed in the prescription for my thyroxin medication. So far, so good.  I collected my prescription after I finished my grocery shopping. Nothing wrong with that either. But when I got home and was about to place the pills in my fridge, something made me check the package. I opened it. I gazed at it. I saw it. Oh oh……!

It was the wrong dosage. A few months previously, my doctor had increased my thyroxin dosage from 50 micro grams to 75. Blue box = 50 mcg. Pink box = 75 mcg. And yes, you got it. I’d been given a blue box and not the pink one. The annoying part was that I receive 200 pills at one go. That’s 6 whole months worth of pills. I could use them – but it would mean that every other morning for many months I will need to cut a pill in half and take 1 ½ pills rather than just the one. The pills are tiny – too small to cut into two. They often end as 4 or 5 pieces when one tries to halve them.

It wasn’t the chemist fault. It was mine. I accept that, fair and square. I had two scripts from my doctor. I’d used the older script, forgetting that the prescription had now changed. The next morning, I drove off to the village in an attempt to undo my mistake. Sad to say, my powers of persuasion didn’t work. A friendly chemist explained patiently that they couldn’t use the medication if I returned it. So there was no way they could take it back. I understood. They had no choice and neither had I. As I went home that day I told myself that I’d done what I could and that had to be enough.

Yes, I did what I could. At least I tried. Sometimes you try and you succeed. Sometimes you try and you fail. What’s important in life is trying. The past few weeks as I've reflected on my Mum’s amazing life, I have been awed at the fact that she, like my Dad was a lifetime learner. Right until the time she died, 3 months short of her 90^th b’day, she kept doing her best to become a better person; overcoming weaknesses, striving to be all God created her to be. As I soak in numerous wise, eloquent verses about life in a journal she’d left for me, she continues to encourage me to live the best I can. She was unique and one of a kind; a gold candle in a sea of white ones – glowing brightly even after her light’s been snuffed out. And following her lead, I can strive to become be the best I can be until the day I die.

Do you know the story of Mary Magdalene? Mary bought a bottle of expensive perfume. She opened the jar and poured it over Jesus’ head. The people around her rebuked her harshly. They said it was a waste of money. Jesus told them “Leave her alone. She did what she could. I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” She did what she could. And Jesus was blessed by her actions and her heart of love and gratitude.

The truth is that often Jesus’ perspective on how we should live is very different to our own. That’s one reason we can never afford to point fingers at others. Only they see the full picture of what God requires of them. ‘She did what she could’. Mum, by doing what she could, blessed hundreds of people over her long, fruitful lifetime. Mary Magdalene – by doing what she could, blessed Jesus. Two powerful ways of living. Blessing God. Blessing others.

Are you bothered by the opinion of others? Or sinking in a sea of guilt and remorse? If you have done what you could – it is enough. Mistakes are OK. They can be rectified or lived with. Sin is never OK. But thankfully our sins are always forgiven when we approach God in genuine repentance. Negative words of others cannot touch you when you do what you can. You can’t do more than your best and your best is always enough.

It is enough.

If you’ve not done what you could, you could start today. 

And that will be enough.

In September 2014, we embarked on a family holiday to celebrate our son’s completion of Tertiary Education. We spent a deeply refreshing time away. Unfortunately, as it often occurs with my fibromyalgia – any kind of physical exertion brings on debilitating tiredness and pain. The morning after I got back I woke up exhausted. I knew I was paying for my extra activities of the week. But I couldn’t complain. After all, I had enjoyed myself thoroughly. And I was refreshed in spirit. No, I couldn’t complain.

I had a fair bit to get through that day though. So I decided to imbibe a potent brew. My temperamental tum doesn’t permit me to have many coffees. But one coffee a week can now be consumed with joy and thanksgiving because yay – my tummy actually allows it. (Isn’t that great?)  I made a cuppa for myself using our efficient, easy to use coffee machine. I breathed in the aroma of Café Auleit and enjoyed every sip. Mmmm…..

That cup of coffee was just what I needed. It energised me through the day. My mind was clear – a big bonus. I was able to complete a writing task. I prepared a talk. I made dinner. I did the washing up. I cleaned the house. I went for my usual evening walk. None of it could have been tackled with such glad gusto had I not drunk that cup of coffee. And you know, it had lasting flavour. And not just flavour but it also imparted plenty of oomph and energy which remained with me all day. Wonderful!

Wouldn’t it be great if you and I could be like cups of coffee to our friends? What kind of coffee are you? Not bitter I hope. Not sickly sweet or too milky or too watery? But just right. Energising those around you. Do people enjoy your company? Do they have lasting good feelings when they leave you? You may be sure that as even I ask you the questions I point two or three fingers at myself.

How do I become like a cup of delicious coffee to a friend?

How do I refresh another so that their refreshment lasts? Simple. I introduce him or her to Jesus. That’s what it takes! I know that if I have anything to boast of in my life – it is all to do with Jesus. A coffee cup might not contain coffee beans, but it carries the flavour of those coffee beans. We don’t have physical evidence of God’s presence in us – no blood test will reveal it. Neither will a scan. A doctor cannot figure it out. A new pair of glasses won’t unearth it. But just as a cup of coffee carries the flavour of the coffee beans, all those who know Jesus carry His flavour within. It is His Holy Spirit within us who makes the difference.

I've blogged this year about being Kind. About wearing the glasses of Gratitude. Today I’m adding one about having Lasting flavour. How do we accomplish that?

Dispensing lasting flavour might happen if we….

1. Spent lots of time with Jesus. (The secret of good coffee – a good brew? The secret of a flavourful life – Jesus permeating us through and through)

2. Ask God for His wisdom, guidance, love and strength every day.

3. Use every interaction to bless and build others.

4. Seek to be the hands and feet and the mouthpiece of Jesus.

5. Spread a little happiness.

6. Listen more than we speak.

7. Decide not to get offended easily

8. Aim at being rather than doing. If we ARE Jesus to a hurting world.

9. Share the good news – there are many who need to hear it

10. Live lives of integrity, purpose and passion

So this New Year – are you up to it? My six siblings and I are faced with a  challenge this year. To take the baton from our parents and carry on what our parents began in the world. The task is daunting – but life is short and the world is in need of a Saviour. So let’s walk through 2015 with the Lord of Life and spread His flavour around.

“You are the salt of the earth. You are the light of the world. …..Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” 

Matthew 5: 16

In December 2013, after 17 long years, we had a dream fulfilled. Christmas in Sri Lanka with my beloved Mama and our family in Sri Lanka. The three glorious weeks in our homeland were all we hoped they would be. We returned home with hearts that overflowed with thanksgiving and spirits refreshed by loved ones. The next Christmas was a little different. This time we had the joy of spending it with our Aussie extended family. There were 5 couples, 1 young man, 2 little people and 1 dog. A sure recipe for happiness.

We met in the lush green Pennyroyal boasting beaches, forests, trees, mountains and perfect weather. The Farmhouse we stayed in was set in 60 acres of farmland – with a group of Alpacas for company. There were rolling green hills around us – a cosy timbre farmhouse to settle in; green grass, blue skies, cool nights, sunshine and family.  We spent 4 magical days together – filled with chatter, laughter, games, singing, music, sightseeing, picnics and enjoyed another thrilling Christmas.

I breathed prayers of thanksgiving as we romped through the stream of colourful days and nights. 2 ½ year old Rufus and 1 year old Rosie added to our joy – because of course Christmas is never complete without children. Murphy, my niece’s dog was fun to have around. Yes, it was a beautiful Christmas. I kept wishing Mum was there with us – because the beauty of our surrounds and family gathered around her would have filled her with joy. She was delighted that we all spent Christmas together and revelled in all the pictures we sent to her afterwards.

On Christmas day when we exchanged our cards and gifts – I made a happy discovery. My husband and I usually exchange funny cards on special occasions. They’d usually have a string of pictures and humorous sayings. This Christmas was no exception. What interested me though was that both our cards ended in the same manner.

“But though you are the better half, as everyone can see,

There isn’t any doubt at all; the (lucky) blessed half is me.’

It was gratifying to see that we both felt similarly towards each other. As I reflected on how blessed I was through the wise, loving, amazing husband whom God had gifted me with – I knew it was the right theme to carry into the New Year. Gratitude. The simple truth is that life is never simple and rarely problem-free. So if we wait to express gratitude only when life is going our way - it's probably like waiting for a brightly flowering garden in the midst of the Sahara desert. No - joy and gratitude need to be grasped no matter what the season and no matter what the tide brings our way - pearls or seaweed; a dolphin or an octopus! 

Gratitude, I believe is one of the most life giving emotions and the perfect spectacles through which to view the world. In my own life,  the first 2 weeks of 2015 have disappeared in a blur; filled with bushfires, loss, grief, travel and an unexpected farewell. My beloved Mama and my most long-standing friend (of 57 years) passed away suddenly on the 4^th of January 2015. How can life ever be the same again? I grieve her loss today and remember her love– an ocean that flowed in ceaselessly throughout my life, refreshing me and blessing me through every season. I began to grieve in earnest on my way back from Sri Lanka as I sat sipping a cup of tea in my hotel room. The tears fell fast and kept falling. It doesn't take much to make me cry these days. No doubt I will continue to grieve for many months on. But through my grief I can also view and embrace the big picture. Using the same glasses she gifted me with - the glasses of gratitude.

I've discovered that gratitude opens the doorway to the right kind of living. My Mum - who was deeply appreciative of every little blessing in her life – who very rarely complained –  who lived with a wonderful air of gratitude, can be best honoured by my choosing gratitude today. When I aim to be grateful I am able to focus on what’s right in the world and in my life. And have you noticed? Gratitude unlocks amazing doors that would otherwise stay shut.

The ability to be joyful doesn’t happen because of our circumstances. It arrives instead through a choice we make every day. Whenever I've gazed on all that’s difficult in my life, I’ve felt sadder and more hopeless still. But when I gaze instead at Jesus with thanksgiving and gratitude for the way He has blessed me, I am filled with peace. Not because my life is exempt from sadness or worries. But because God in His loving kindness, sustains me with a deep inner joy that no circumstance can dim.

And so this brand New Year – let us focus on the myriad ways we are blessed. The many reasons to praise Him. Let’s remember all He has done for us. Let’s focus on what’s right in others’ lives and express our thanks to them. As I continue to grieve the loss of one special, irreplaceable person in my life, my beloved, one and only Mama, I can also continue to praise God for giving her to us – and am filled with gratitude for the way she enriched my life and blessed me. 

Are you the blessed one? I know you are. 

Am I the blessed one? Of course I am.

Let’s choose gratitude’s perspective today.

Let us filter out the moments that cause us to moan and complain.

Let’s discover instead, sparkling gems in the sand and red roses in December.

^“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.  Let the message of Christ dwell among you ….. singing to God with 

                                     gratitude 

in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:15-17

Yesterday was a very sad day. I received a phone call I knew I’d receive one day but hoped would never happen. My sister called to let me know that our beloved Mum had left us.  Mama had been sick for a few days, so I was half prepared for it. And yet it now seems so unreal. How could she be no more? She who loved life must surely live forever?

Today it’s Your day Mama! It’s time to write a few words in my weekly bog to honour my beautiful, awesome, amazing, one and only Mum. Amma faithfully read my blog each week and responded with loving words of encouragement. Last week she told me that it inspired her to pray as I’d suggested – letting God know her needs. I hoped and prayed that God would answer her prayers and heal her of her brief illness. It didn’t happen. But then….perhaps He did answer after all. By taking her to a wonderful place where there is no more suffering and no more pain. Thank you God that her LIFE after life has begun. I raise my glass to my beautiful Mum and give thanks to God for her life.

My Amma was a remarkable woman – she lived 89 wholesome years – blessing everyone in her path. She began her career of Journalism at the tender age of 17 so she’s been writing for 72 years. Isn’t that an unbeatable record? She married my Dad when she was just short of her 21^st b’day. And what a happy marriage it was – of almost 60 years. Their love spilled out onto us, her children. And to our community. Mama was a family counsellor for many years. She spent hours listening to people and helping them find their way. She and Thatha had an open home – and we often had relatives stay with us. No matter they had seven children to bring up, there was always room for more. She loved her family deeply - and what a lot of us there are! 7 Children and 7 Spouses. 11 Grandchildren and 4 Spouses (so far). 4 Great grandchildren and 1 on the way. She prayed regularly for all of us - that's a lot of praying, don't you agree?

Mama’s faith was an active, growing one. She was a woman of courage – speaking out against all that was wrong or unjust – fearless in her writing. Her love for us (like our Dad's) was unconditional. She loved us enough to let us go. It was so easy to love her back. It feels surreal that my beloved Mama is no more. No more nightly emails from my favourite email correspondent. No  more chats with her at her dining table – sharing life together. No more calls. No more love notes from her pen. But I am also am filled with thanksgiving to God for her life. For the many ways she blessed us and continues to bless us even beyond the grave. I just checked the folder where her emails reside. She and I wrote to each other every night for almost 16 years. I have 5093 emails from her – long, chatty ones most of them. So my tears will be happy ones as well as sad ones as I read them afresh – and they will bring her very close to me. She was my Mum for 57 years. She was also my friend. My Forever Friend.

May I share a secret? While she often wrote glowingly of my blogs, she sometimes found them too long. And so I will honour her and write the shortest blog I've ever written. This one’s for you darling Mama. I hope you read this from heaven and laugh with me. Thank you for the fragrance you have brought into my life. Farewell precious beloved beautiful Mums. I will see you again one day in a place there is no more sorrow or sighing or tears. And we will celebrate with joy together. Thank you for being the best Mother I could ever find.

If Mothers were flowers – you’d be the one I’d pick.

Loving you always and always,

Your daughter and forever friend,

Anu xo

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 

Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:10,11, 26-30
 

Some weeks ago I dined with several ladies – some whom I met for the first time. It was a pleasant evening. One lady’s remark rang in my mind for some time afterwards. Ever since we’d planned an extended family Christmas for 2014, I’d been hugging a delicious thought to myself. Five families from Darwin, Sydney, the Blue Mountains, Whyalla and Adelaide (my two brothers in Australia and their families (and us) would be meeting in a farmhouse in Victoria to spend Christmas together. We’d met in each others’ homes for Christmas before but it was the first time we were meeting in a neutral location; so we had a lot of planning to do. It was all very exciting.

We met in a beautiful green part of the country – where summers are always mild and rolling hills are part of the scene with even gentle Alpacas part of the package. How cool was that! I shared our plans with those ladies – and hoped they would share my joy. They did. But one of the ladies asked me a question which changed things.

‘Why have you decided to live so far apart?’ The question surprised me. Coming from a war torn nation, a Sri Lankan for instance, would never ask such a question. They’d know that the 25 year old war in Sri Lanka sadly tore loving families apart. They’d know what a lot of trauma there has been in our nation’s past. That we who grew up loving our country as a paradise on earth had to regretfully pack our bags one day and head for foreign shores because our choices were very limited.

Many Sri Lankan families have been forced to seek ‘refuge’ overseas in the past few decades so we could bring up our families in peace and stability. Making a decision to leave our loved ones did not come easy. It took me two whole years before I had the courage to tell my Mum and Dad that we were deserting them for greener pastures. It was a very difficult subject to even bring up and I hated to hurt them. I remember how much it tore me apart – and yet I knew it was the right decision for my own little family.

The war in Sri Lanka meant that many days I had to rush to school to pick up my 5 year old son in sheer panic because there were bomb threats at his school and I didn’t know if he would be alive when I got there. My husband and I made the decision to leave our country prayerfully. Now, looking back on 16 blessed years in Australia – we are confident it was the right one. But yes, even after we got here – we had to settle in different places.

My brother and family who were the first to arrive in Australia settled in Sydney. My next brother and sister in law settled in Whyalla where my brother’s job called him. My husband found a job in Adelaide. It’s now one of my favourite places in the world. However, it doesn’t mean I don’t love the country of my birth. My nephew and his wife, both lawyers, decided that Darwin was the place for them. My niece and her husband moved to the Blue Mountains - the perfect location for them. So why are we in different places? Because of lots of complex reasons. It’s hard to explain why in a few sentences.

I answered this lady’s question as best as I could – but sadly, I could see that she just didn’t ‘get it.’ She stared blankly at me – there was no nod of understanding. It made me very sad. I thought to myself ‘How little you know how three quarters of the world live!’ Boat people come to Australia for instance not by choice – they are fleeing for their lives. Others who make choices we don’t understand may do it for reasons you and I can never envisage and would be unable to fathom from our differing perspectives.

How easy it is to judge others! We often hear one or two comments and quickly pass judgment. That lady clearly assumed that we were not a close family – and had chosen to live far from each other. But circumstances of people’s lives are often complex and difficult. We make the best choices we can but they are rarely ideal because we live in an imperfect world. I’m blessed in having a very close extended family. I am sure that lady’s thoughts about us was very different to reality. 

I love this saying: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Wendy Mass. It’s true isn’t it? It’s only too easy for us to point fingers at others when we are absolutely ignorant about the struggles in their lives. So as we begin a new year – let us intentionally be kind. There is much about others’ lives that we know nothing of. Let us not be hasty to judge. Instead let’s listen more. Let’s give time to hear them out. Let’s do our best to understand.

And let us always…. be kind!

It was an exciting prospect. Opportunities to sell my book were always received with a whoop of joy. Being able to sell them to my church family made it even more special. I love not just these opportunities. I also enjoy the soul stirring God conversations they bring. A week before the event, I remembered that I needed lots of change to use the next Sunday. Unfortunately, the sales girl I asked the cash from was having a bad day.

She forgot my request for change and handed me two fifty dollar notes. I could see she had her hands full. So I walked up to the Customer service desk. There was no one there. I waited as patiently as I could. I saw a man hovering near and wondered whether to ask if anyone was waiting on him. Ten minutes passed by. Perhaps I should get it elsewhere, I mused. But I waited. And waited. Finally a sales girl came out and served the man. ‘Won’t be a moment’ she said when she saw me. Then she disappeared in again.

I waited. Another five minutes. And five more. I was about to leave when she turned up, looking flustered and harried. “How can I help you?”

“Please could I get some change?”  I asked with a smile, handing over my two fifty dollar bills.

“What do you need?”

It was on the tip of my tongue to say “Ten fives and five tens please.’ But noticing her busy flustered air, didn’t think it was the right time to be too demanding.

‘Lots of fives and tens please”

She punched something into her machine. Then she began counting the money. I was amazed. It was exactly the change I’d been hoping for. She counted them again as she handed the bills to me. There they were. Ten five dollar notes and five ten dollar notes. Perfect. And I hadn’t even had to spell it out for her.

As I left her that day I thanked God. Not just for the money but also for the way God often asks me the same question. ‘What do you need?’ He then proceeds to give me what I need – not always in the way I want or in the time frame I hope for. But in God’s ways and God’s timing which are much better. Scripture tells us that we can be specific as we talk to God. There was a paralysed man at the pool at Bethesda who had waited there for a long time – hoping and praying for healing. Jesus came along. It was obvious what the man wanted. But Jesus made him spell it out.

‘Do you want to get well?’ Jesus asked him. The man began to explain why it was he’d waited so long. Jesus simply said ‘Get up! Pick your mat and walk.’ And yes, he was healed – just like that. After 38 years of waiting.

We stand today at the brink of a New Year. What do you need in 2015? Good health? Restored relationships? A job? Friends? Something to live for? Justice? Strength? God asks of you today – ‘What do you need?’ The Word tells us that our God will supply every need of ours according His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. But it is also true that God is not a magic box. He is not Someone who’s there in order to keep us happy and to give us everything we want or ask for.

There are some blessings that He will always give us when we ask Him – because they are in His perfect will for us. Forgiveness, peace, joy, love, the Holy Spirit. God desires to give us wisdom, courage, love to share with others; the fruit of the Spirit. He wants to teach us through His Word; to guide us to walk in His paths. He gives us contentment, strength, a hope that never disappoints. Most importantly, have you received His gift of Eternal life which He freely gives to all who surrender their lives to Him?

Just as you and I desire to give good gifts to our children, we can be assured that our gracious Father God will give us what is best for us. As His word says in Romans 8:28, “In all things God works for the good of those who love Him.’ What do you need today? If we walk in tune with God and His will – all our asking will be what He desires for us – and will glorify Him.

So come to Him today as we look towards 2015. Desire Him. Listen to Him. And ask.

And keep your hands open, ready to receive.

“If you remain in me and my words remain in me, ask whatever you wish and it will be given to you. This is my to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” John 15:7, 8

I've never been an ardent shopper so I made just one major trip to the Plaza this Christmas. I was there to buy myself a pair of shoes for Christmas and to purchase Christmas gifts for my men. Surprisingly enough, I enjoyed the experience very much. I made my purchases in a couple of hours, revelling in the atmosphere – the tinkling sound of carols; expectancy on bright young faces; an air of Christmas joy amidst the busy shoppers. Finally, I walked towards the bus station, my hands weighed down with bags.

What a happy surprise to find my bus was parked and waiting for me. Hooray! But oh dear. I knew I still had to cross the road and walk a few hundred steps. Would the bus wait for me? I began praying as I quickened my pace. “Please God – let it wait for me. Please God……” I ran as fast as I could. Alas, the bus moved blithely on. I was left on the pavement holding my shopping bags and shaking my head in frustration.

There was nothing to be done but to accept it. I had to wait a whole half hour for the next bus. Half an hour is 30 minutes. 1800 seconds. That is a LOT of time, isn’t it, especially when it’s spent waiting. I spotted an empty seat and settled into it. It was then I heard God’s whisper in my heart. ‘I want to spend time with you Nushi. And here you are.’

God desired my company. How amazing was that! Everything changed. I took out my mp3 player, and listened to praise songs as I worshipped Him. I opened my prayer diary and prayed for family and friends. I began to commune with Him. It was a beautiful summer’s day. The sky was an azure blue; joyful Christmas breezes bent on teasing me wrapped themselves around me like a soft comfortable cape. Deep feelings of contentment seeped into my bones. I felt secure in His Presence; Loved. Like a bride delighting in her new husband’s company. And His joy filled me.

Did you miss the bus this year? Did life seem to spiral out of control? Perhaps you didn’t perceive what really happened. That you didn’t miss the bus after all. Perhaps like me, you were not meant to take the bus you hoped to get on. So God had you wait for the next one. And He taught you many things as you waited. Mostly, He turned your head from looking around to looking right up into the beautiful face of JESUS.

It’s that time of year when gratitude should be high on our list. We celebrate the birthday of a King. Not just a king, but the King of Kings and Lord of lords. As I centred on each moment that day – I discovered that the half hour of waiting disappeared before I knew it. Often in the business of Christmas frenzy – we forget what’s important. If I had caught my bus – I’d have had more time to do as I pleased. But would have missed out that extra half hour with Jesus. And oh…what a loss that would have been!

Perhaps all those ‘missed buses’ this year – in whatever shape or form they occurred – will lead us into deeper communion with the Christmas baby and into a renewed vision of Him. The times I’ve missed the bus metaphorically have forced me to slow down and focus on things that are really important. Those missed opportunities have turned out to be blessings in disguise – and I’ve walk away transformed, like a butterfly which emerges gladly out of a chrysalis the caterpillar endured to reach brighter days ahead.

This Christmas let us walk softly to the stable and offer our gifts of love and gratitude to the God who created us. Let us thank that baby that He grew up to bring us eternal life. Let us remember those who are less fortunate and those who grieve. Let us do what we can to bless them. Please don’t be too upset that you ‘missed the bus’. Rejoice instead that the right bus has already come – and we can jump on it. The message that the angels came to proclaim to the shepherds is ours too – ‘Peace on earth, good will towards men.’

Come – let us follow that star and go where the baby is lying wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. Let us fall on our knees before Him.

“Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today, in the town of David, a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:10,11

Will you make time for Him this Christmas?

Two years ago on the 14^th of December 2012 tragedy struck in Newtown Connecticut. A crazy gunman went on a rampage and killed innocent little children and their teachers. It happened in America – oceans away – but of course we here in Australia felt its ripples. There was shock, devastation, sorrow, for terrible unnecessary loss of life. It was extra horrific that innocent children were involved. This December we are shocked again. And it much closer to home. In fact it IS at home it happened. And we are stunned and grief stricken. A crazy gunman held people hostage in a café in Sydney for over 16 hours.

Many prayers were sent up that day that all the hostages would be able to walk away unharmed from their nightmare. It was a huge relief that 15 people got away and are alive today. But sadly two innocent people lost their lives. Two people too many. The gunman lost his life as well. How can we understand such a tragedy?

Today is not my blogging day. But I felt compelled to reflect on what happened. To affirm solidarity with all of Australia and indeed with all the world. To weep with those who weep. To pray for peace. To ask that God’s kingdom will come on earth as it is in heaven. To bring a glimmer of hope amidst the debris of a broken, hurting world.

I weep today thinking of three children who lost their Mum. Katrina Dawson was an exceptional human being – one who has already made a mark in the lives of all who knew her. I weep for her husband, her parents, her family. Tori Johnson, the café Manager was described as being a very selfless young man who lost his life in a sacrificial act of bravery during the siege. I grieve with his family. What a hero – but he isn’t around to receive a medal. Like Katrina, he died too young. Far too young.

Another brutal tragedy occurred the next day. One hundred and fifty one people mostly children were slaughtered in Pakistan by the Taliban. It is just too much to imagine. How can anyone do this to innocent children? Where is God in all of this? Does He know? Does He care? Suffering is one of the hardest questions to answer. The world is a beautiful place. But it is also one that’s filled too often with pain and apparently senseless tragedy. Those who don’t believe in God will shake their fists at heaven or conclude that either God doesn’t exist or that He doesn’t care.

What could I, a follower of Jesus share with you today? I have walked with God for over 40 years. I have known His love over the years – a love that is as sure as the dawn; as fresh and alive as new born lambs in springtime. His love for me has overflowed during the dark times in my life even more than during my bright seasons. His heart has welcomed me home. His hands have held me fast. His love has comforted me. Not always has He given me answers to my ‘whys’. He has simply asked me to cling to Him and to trust Him. Does He exist? Yes. Does He care? Yes, I say with all my heart. He exists. He cares. He is with us.

I do not always understand suffering, especially the suffering of others. I do know however that God has walked with me through my own seasons of pain and heartache. He has felt my anguish. He has wept with me as I wept. He has cared for me. And did you know – He too suffered a horrible death? He suffered the worst kind of death – not because He deserved it but because of His love for us. Does He know what pain is? Yes. Does He know what it is to lose a loved one? Yes. Does He identify with us in our grief and pain? Yes. Yes. Yes.

In the aftermath of tragedy, perhaps there may be better questions to ask than the 'why' question. What now? What can I do to help? How can I ease the pain of my brother or sister? What can I do in the light of the tragedies rampant in our world today? How can I bring peace and comfort to those who suffer? Whom can I pray for? How can I respond?

God often uses human beings as His face on earth. Let us grieve today with those who grieve. Let us seek Him. He is waiting to be found. Let us extend a hand to our neighbour. Let us walk in love and peace. Let us be the light of God to His hurting world.

Let His light shine in the darkness.

‘Because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.” Luke 1: 78-79